


Pas De Deux

by Kalkasar (Mordhena)



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Episode s02e06 Marauders, Episode: s02e08 The Communicator, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, M/M, just a sweet bit of speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:34:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27174593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mordhena/pseuds/Kalkasar
Summary: John and Malcolm dance around the possibility of a relationship.
Relationships: Jonathan Archer/Malcolm Reed
Kudos: 5





	Pas De Deux

**Pas De Deux**

The fear consumed him. There was no way he would ever let anyone know it, but I could sense it.  
  
There was an edge to him, an ice-cold hardness that had nothing to do with his usual stoic attention to duty. He was stretched so thin that I wondered why he didn’t snap.  
  
He was like a violin string, wound tight until it sings with the tension. No one else would have noticed. I did.  
  
“I’m expecting a rescue party to come bursting through that door… any minute!” There was a sharpness to his words, a hitch in his voice that only someone who knows him the way I do would catch. The fear was killing him.  
  
He paced the cell like an animal caged. I leaned on the bars, staring out restraining the urge to shake them in impotent rage. I would have done anything to get him out of there. I never felt so weak in my life.  
  
\---  
  
Fear is something I cannot admit to. I know it is there, I can’t let it show. It’s not appropriate. I hold it in check, but I could tell he sensed it.  
  
I paced and raged, I played his game when he spoke of rescue. I was wound up; tightly coiled ready to snap. I was surprised that I didn’t.  
  
“I’m expecting a rescue party to come bursting through that door…any minute.” I wondered if he noticed the brittle edge to my words. I looked away from his too knowing eyes. There was too much in them, unsaid.  
  
There was too much I wanted to say and couldn’t.  
  
I would have done anything to get him out of there. I would lay down my own life for his. He’s the captain, I’m only a tactical officer. The sacrifice would be worth it. He’s … He’s so much to me. So much more than I can ever dare admit.  
  
\---  
  
  
When they pushed him up the stairs onto the platform, my heart turned to ice.  
  
As the noose was dropped over his head, I stared at him; willing him to look at me, to meet my eyes, just for a second. But he didn’t seem to notice. He didn’t even flinch when the rope was drawn tight.  
  
There were so many words unsaid. So many opportunities I had missed. I wanted to pour it all out to him. If he had looked at me, I would have let the floodgates open. I would have bared my heart to him.  
  
  
\---  
  
  
I felt his eyes on me as they dropped the rope around my neck and pulled it tight. I knew he wanted me to look at him. I could sense his desperation. I couldn’t look at him. I kept my eyes fixed on some invisible point in the  
middle distance. I squared my shoulders and gritted my teeth.  
  
There was too much that could never be said. The time for regrets had gone. If I looked at him, my heart would burst. I would say things I could never retract. Better not to give opportunity for my own weakness.  
  
\---  
  
Suddenly it was over. He was safe. We were safe. The rescue party neither of us had really dared hope for arrived and we returned to the ship.  
  
It changed things. I didn’t want to go back to the way things were before, but how could I crack his armour? How could I get through to him.  
  
We endured Decontamination in silence. He wouldn’t look at me. I gave up trying to catch his eyes.  
  
\---  
  
Against all possible odds, we were rescued. It was like some kind of movie…the cavalry arriving just in the nick of time. I hadn’t really expected to be rescued. I was ready to die. The only regret was that he  
would die with me.  
  
In decon I kept my eyes averted. We didn’t speak. I didn’t allow any opening for conversation. I could feel his eyes on me still… I shut him out. Better  
to continue as though nothing had happened.  
  
\---  
  
Released from the chamber, he strode across sickbay and out through the door. I watched him go. Watched another opportunity slip away.  
  
“Malcolm!”  
  
He froze in his tracks. I saw his head come up, but he didn’t look at me.  
  
  
“Sir?”  
  
\---  
  
I almost made it out of the door before his voice stopped me. He said my name. It froze me. I stopped barely short of snapping to attention.  
  
“Sir?”  
  
He came to my side. I saw a smile touch his lips.  
  
“I’ll… walk with you.”  
  
\---  
  
  
“I’ll walk with you.” I told him. I didn’t care where we went. I hadn’t planned anything beyond just being near him. He nodded. We left the sickbay and walked.  
  
More silence. More elusive glances. He never looked at me directly. I couldn’t fathom him.  
  
He stopped, cast me a quick glance that flashed away almost before his gaze touched mine. “I…” He waved at a door. “My cabin,” he muttered.  
  
\---  
  
He walked in silence at my side. I didn’t know where to go. I just walked, kept my eyes away from his. I couldn’t make that contact, it would be my undoing.  
  
With nowhere else to go, I stopped; flicked my eyes towards him and away.  
  
It was my cabin, and where else could I go? We were off duty, no point in going to the bridge, nor bolting to the armory. Nowhere to run. I waited for him to go.  
  
He stayed.  
  
“Come in?” What was I saying? My heart stopped.  
  
\---  
  
My heart stopped, did he just invite me inside? I licked my lips, shuffled my feet. What should I do?  
  
I seized the opportunity in both hands. “I’d like that.”  
  
He offered me a drink. “Coffee? Tea? I don’t have anything stronger… sorry.”  
  
“You don’t have to apologize.”  
  
\---  
  
“You don’t have to apologize,” he said.  
  
I looked at him then for the first time. Looked at him properly and saw the tiredness, the remains of tension in his face. He hadn’t told me what he wanted to drink. I needed something to do with my hands. Moved to the side table. “I’m having tea…”  
  
He followed me, I could feel the heat of his body as he stood behind me. I felt my heart begin to race.  
  
I turned to look at him and was lost.  
  
He pushed me against the counter. Took hold of my chin in one hand. His lips assaulted mine and I groaned.  
\---  
He groaned, and I felt him tense and then soften under my tender assault. My mouth claimed his. I didn’t need words, now. I needed action. I kissed him, hard and demanding, deeper and fiercer. Our tongues dueled and I sucked on his lips, I wanted to draw him out through his yielded mouth, make him mine. I wanted to touch that core I know is in him. I wanted to possess him.  
\---  
I tensed under the assault of his mouth. Then I felt myself falling. Falling into him. It was like he pulled me into himself absorbed me. I didn’t want it to stop. I couldn’t have escaped if I wanted to. He held me. His grip was light, and if I pulled away, I knew he wouldn’t stop me, but I leaned into him. I gave myself up to him. I let him possess me.  
\---  
I released him, but he didn’t pull away. I looked into his eyes and this time he didn’t avoid my gaze.

  
~END~

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoy this work, please leave kudos or a comment to let the author know.


End file.
